Terribly confused.
Friday, January 06, 2006
One week passed....time really flies.Had been busy with so many admin stuff, which i think is stupid. But i has to be done, anyway...Today was the worst...had to teach theory for Crystal Growing, then had to go to CO to settle stuff.
Had quite a good talk with Marcus today...lol...he's such a nice person.I told him i am beginning to get soft with huangzhi again, then he told me something v funny...haha.
There's always the bad part to life. Whether u like it or not, it will always be there.
Ytd at about 10 huangzhi messaged me telling me that i had not paid for the science team tee. I told him earlier in school that i hadn paid but he insisted that i did. So i told him to tell me earlier so that i could go get the cash if i really didn't pay. Apparently he told me a little too late, and i had to use another part of my money which shouldn't be used. I showed my unhappiness to me ytd, and he apologised to me. Only for that matter, of course. But that is enough to bring me back to the past, which i don't wanna be. I hate myself for that. But what can i do? should i just continue to be what i am, and be miserable, or continue to be firm, and be miserable as well?
i was just thinkin...mayb i can tell him about what i thought of, there's completely no harm in telling. I think i haven't been treating him well lately...and i don like it this way. it is difficult to treat a person bad. it is difficult to hate a person. At least for me. i don hate a person for long. I just hope that he will be more sensitive to my feelings. I have to admit that i agree with what wilson said, he isn't a good friend, but still, can't we at least be normal friends, and go out to eat dinner like in the past?
Or is it all my doing?Is it me being sensitive, and trying to avoid him?Am i trying to shun him? I really don't know. I am so terribly confused.
THen there's CO. I only need to attend once every week. Although i did say i wanted to give up, i realised i will miss my section. ITs something i don really want to admit in front of everybody, but i think it is true.
CO will be performing for CNY, only 40 ppl will be selected. This sept will be our sch performance, but i guess it will be quite impossible for CO to perform, bcos what the sch wants is an accompaniment, jazz music mind u, for an english play, which is CInderalla. SO...i'm not sure.
I'm lazy to type...but just one last thing.
Wilson and Marcus have told me to quit CG. It will be quite irresonsible of me to quit now, but i really don't know.
Should i quit CG?