untitled 3.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
well, when i came back frm sch today, i realised that my parent's room door was locked...in fact i heard someone locking it...i wonder what's happening. i certainly do not want to be from a broken family.i slept for quite long...n wasn in a good mood aft that...n i don even noe e reason why...n jor says he's feeling exactly the way i am now..so at least i've a companion...haha.
today in sch, jus as marcus was into those word plays, i stopped for that instant n thought of losing temper at him...but i realise i couldn't bring myself to. he's realli too great a person to lose my temper at. plus, he really cheers me up. i've no reason to be angry with him or anyth. well...then i thought of aft graduation days...how my life would be diff without this good fren of mine...maybe i'm paranoid, but he's already sort of my pillar...although i don cling to him literally, my life's a bit diff without him...that's e power of friendship. muahaha.
but, as the chi saying goes, there's no feast which won't end, such good days will come to an end...n i've to accept it, so i've to get myself prepared...
anyway, got to start reading e newspapers n later do work...so cya.
MARCUS ROCKS!!!
Monday, March 27, 2006
hmm...act i told marcus i will type sth sad here...but then aft some thought, i changed my mind...cos he realli made me v happy...haha.. he really v pro lo...i was almost in tears durin chi lesson, n he can make me laugh...a complete change of mood siah..sounds v drastic, but he's capable of doing so...HE ROX BIG TIME!!!
frankly speaking, i'm v afraid tt he will get irrtated of me....although i trust him. sigh, its not a time to think abt this, he still rocks no matter what...
got tons of work to do...so got to run. bye!
what will be will be
Friday, March 24, 2006
well...i am soo upset today. i realli cant say here...just v disappointed with some adults...haiz. but then again, things will be fine, i hope...they cant do much to us now.jus went to watch date movie...n its god damn weird watchin with my parents...lol.didn like the movie exactly, cos its too exaggerating and obnoxious...lol.
hmm...today for eng we did two v interesting things...
here goes.
firstly, there's this craze abt being politically correct...the nursery song bla bla black sheep is no longer known as how it is, but instead is sung as bla bla rainbow sheep, in order not to be racist..
n some more instances are...f*** is process of creation, shit is biodegradable fertilizer (mr ng came out with them...lol).
its kinda lame...they even invented politically correct nursery rhymes...such as humpty dumpty..until they don sound like nursery rhymes anymore...its sooo. nvm.
next we had public speaking...i enjoyed margaret's speech...
she talked abt ambitions...i particulary liked her last part, where she said that ppl are more distant frm what they want when they achieve their goals...n she said that the material life which brightens up our lives is blinding ourselves from the real source of joy...so let us soak into darkness and find the real source of joy...
cool.
sigh..hope things will be better. cya.
disappointment
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
haiz..cant go canada le..$$$$ prob. mum told me jus now...sigh.what to do...i vow to be rich in e future...
today's e meet e parents session..quite ok. except wilson...his parents were talking to mrs ong abt some admin stuff, then tiger saw n spoke to him...i think he will be marked...
n the thing is, i don wan anyth to happen to e class now...referring to matthew...i mean mr lim. sigh...i am tired man.
n my grandma seems so against e maid...n my aunt n mum keep telling me to speak to my grandma, cos she listens to me the most...apparently i am trying my best not to do that, cos i don want to get involved in adults' affairs...but. how long can i last???
n my mum...she keeps complaining abt her work...i'm stressed, yet i nv say anyth at home...sigh. sometimes i jus cant stand her...
saw hz's mum...didn expect his mum to come...she looked distracted, n i think she's a quiet n thoughtful person...first impressions are usually right...n saw jor's 2 bro also...have a feeling that his second bro looks a bit like hz's bro...dunno.
haiz...goin to finish two unfinished essays later...
till then, see ya.
something's wrong...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
i doon know what's wrong with me recently...its as if i'm falling into depression without knowing why...n i hate this feeling.i've been trying to remain high in sch..managed to, but still...tt feeling tingles...i jus...want to get rid of this feeling.
sigh...now chatting with marcus online...feel a bit better i guess.
going to do work later...slack.
don feel like typin anymore...cya.
Great.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
my blog's finally working...haha. wonder wat's wrong with it during the past few days...hmm...ytd was tt CO performance...bet the GOH fell asleep...its quite boring...well, for our sch, e suo na went out of tune for color of the wind...shan comment.
before tt was e phy test...it was quite doable, cos its o lvl standard...
aft e test act zhi hao wanna go watch big momma's house...but there are no shows available at tt time..so too bad.
then we were eating at ljs, when marcus' mum called my hp...got a shock. she said it was sth urgent...lol. it turned out tt his dad got tickets to e F1 race in msia n so asked him to go back...
n so he did...so damn envious of him lor...had the chance to watch F1 live...he said he took a flight to tt city, n then stayed in an hotel...he msged me at night...then i was sooooooo envious.
he msged me jus now, n told me tt he was sponsored a shirt n a cap...n he's taking e 10 pm flight...shld have reached by now...
he's gonna tell me e price of e ticket tmr...lol.
well, jus rmb tt i didn record e day we went to warren...wait a min, i did...lol.
tmr sch reopen le...n i haven finished my work...thank goodness its not due tmr...haha.
well...hz spoiled my day ytd...now havin v confused feelings abt him..don wanna think abt it.
cya ppl!
slackers unite.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
time flies...its a thursday. n i have two days left to study for my physics test, 4 days left to finish 2 hist essay, 1 lit essay, n 4 chi essays...n e organic chem notes i promised jor...
n one set of source based, and and and...
collating twelfth night,
oh damn.
sooo many things to do, yet i cant bring myself to do anyth this aft...i guess i'm still nocturnal by nature.
anyway, i realised i am still as interested in hist as i was before...n its marcus who made me realised that..haha. history still rocks.
i think i had an encounter with those dirty stuff today....here's what happened.
i was lying on bed, n my room door suddenly opened. i tot it was not shut properly, so i ignored it...then, abt 3 minutes later, it slammed shut, like somebody closed it. but no one was at home...
spooky...
well...i cooked pasta for my mum n dad...n my dad onli noes how to nag, n do nothing...sigh. n i still didn dare to bring up the topic of goin to canada to study...i wonder how am i goin to do tt...sigh.
homework time, i guess...i'm a bit sick of slacking.
no no no..slackers unite!
lalala...
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
hmm...ytd was a 2 part class outing..haha. wanted to blog ytd, but was too tired...first was this farms trip led by mr lim...first we went to the goat farm...soo cool. saw how they milked the goats, n i learnt that goats milk is alkaline...haha. they can produce milk up to 6 months after conceiving, and have a lifespan of 12 years, 10 of which is used to produce milk. the owner says they try to avoid inbreeding by importing and selling the male (aka bucks) goats each time they mate. otherwise the offspring will become retarded. lol...
then we went to the barn...touch the young goats (aka kids)..their fur is soo soft. and we fed them with some hay. there were the larger ones also, and some of them have very beautiful fur...
we saw one shitting. it was like this meat ball producer, the anus opens and these small black rounded hardened shit balls come out...lol. or u can say it looks like something which lays eggs when standing up. it is soo cool. then we learned that these shit are sold at $20 per kg to vegetable farms as fertilizers as these shit are organic. cos the food the goats eat are organic...didn noe shit can be so profitable...lol.
then before we left, we received chocolate flavoured goats milk. and me marcus jia min jin quan and zhi hao bought the non flavoured one...i saved the choco one for wilson n company for the second part of e class outing (cos i didn like it) and drank the non flavoured one on the bus. i think it tastes slightly diff from cow's milk...i don really know how to describe, but it just doesn have the distinct taste of cow's milk, and is blander...
next up was the bullfrog's farm...we went to see the frogs...and we saw some mating, cos they were on top of each other, and they were some who were orging, cos there were four frogs lined up, on top of each other. i don realli noe how to describe...one was on top of the other, and the third was on top of the bullfrog on top of the first...and so on...haha.
at first we thought that they weren mating. cos frogs was external fertilization. then we realised tt they were bullfrogs, n was fertilized internally. haha.
then mr lim did a crazy thing. he picked up two frogs, jia xuan carried one n marcus carried another. eewwwww...its so gross. i didn want to carry, so i touched e one marcus was carrying. the skin, surprisingly, is v soft...n v nice to touch.
some others carried, and then a few bought tadpoles...to rear and then eat them when they grow older. hmm...
then...i cant rmb what farm we went. we were supposed to go to croc's farm, but e owner wasn around...so..that's too bad.
for all i can rmb, we went to this vegetable farm. we watched a darned long video, and then there's this guide who brought us around. this guide's eng was terrible, i am not sure he has a jap or hong kong accent, but aft hearing his chi i deduced tt he was from china.
anyway no one understood wat he said, so we didn realli listen. the farm was basically growing vegetables (lettuce) by e method of aerophonics, where the roots of the plants were not in soil. but was sprayed by this nutrient solution at 30 sec interval. this wld increase the nutrient (mineral salts) and water intake and thus the plant will grow better...quite true.
then was the organic plant part...smelled some horrible smelling herbs. yuck.
then before we left, we bought this drink, known as lettucino. its no coffee, but it tasted quite nice. there was only one bottle left, so i was e onli one who bought it. we were given each a packet of organic veg also...lol
aft this we went to this fish market which sold fish tt can be eaten..saw how they slaughtered fish...i was ok with it, cos i seen it before. then went to koi farm, n headed back to sch...
aft tt marcus made mr lim open e class for him, cos he lost his chem tys n might have left it in sch....but he didn manage to find it. hope he can find it at home...
in e meantime i collected phy stuff...
then marcus n i went to eat ljs, then changed and spent an hour in bw lot 1 n the lrt station...we talked abt history stuff(russia included), religion...sth along tt line. an hour flew jus like tt.
it was a memorable time. i enjoyed it.
then we met up with boo, caslin, perlin,valencia, jasvin n zhi hao...went to warren country club, played badminton n table tennis for abt 2 hrs plus. had tons of fun, even if i didn realli noe how to play...learned quite a bit.
then had dinner...talked abt the supernatural during dinner..then aft tt we were all soo scared to go home..haha.
aft dinner we went back, n i got home abt 9 plus...
had a wonderful time...
well...today. realised tt my jr from co expect a lot frm me. n i vowed not to disappoint them ever again...lol.
n maybe, hz has realli changed. i am still skeptical abt it, but he thanked me for my concern over sth which i think he won...
i wonder...
enlightenment.
Monday, March 13, 2006
i just finished the book 'the alchemist' by paulo coelho, and i guess i am enlightened after reading it.it is one of the very few books which make me think.
its ideas are quite sophisticated actually, so i shall make it simple.
it speaks of how people should live towards their destinies, how everything in this world is one, and how the destinies are told by people's hearts to people, especially when they are young. these messages do not disappear as one gets older, but they get softer.
in a nutshell, one should be living towards their destinies.
it is more dignified a death to die when one is pursuing his destinies than to die before one realises what his destiny is.
n of course, a decision doesn gurantee the events that will happen to you, it simply brings you closer (or further) to your destiny.
"everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is. at that point of their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. they are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. but, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realise their destiny."
"it's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realise your destiny. it prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. it's your mission on earth."
'when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you acheive it.'
"...people's inability to choose their own destinies. and it ends up saying that everyone believes in the world's greatest lie."
'At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. that's the world's greatest lie.'
above is the essence of the book.
i also learned that things are what people perceive them to be; a sad melancholy song can turn out to be a happy one if one thinks of it as a happy one.
well, so what exactly is my destiny???
i've thought, and all i know is i want to teach.
or should i say, i want to pass knowledge to the next generation.
but right now, i want to study at canada.
i have made that decision, and i believe it is my destiny to do so.
whatever that happens next doesn really matter.
what about all of u? what are your destinies?
live your life to the fullest. don't waste it away.
dots...
Friday, March 10, 2006
i haven blogged for days...have been rather busy.well its the holidays, but it doesn seem like one. i have to go back to school on mon, tues, wed and sat, and have 5 chi essays, 4 a maths paper. 1 emaths paper, some chem qn, physics assignment and test to study for, 2 hist essays, one lit essay n source based..that's crazy. still have to do notes on lit and chem.
n of course, i wan to SLACK!!!!!!
haha...i hope i have time for everyth.
well...i haven been quite unhappy with marcus saying that my words (shut up and stupid in particular) are malicious...come on, if i really meant it that way, would i even bother to do so much for the class n them?
today during reading period i really raised my voice...i had to repeat trice what i was saying, cos everyone else was talking...but i didn lose my temper at all...i wonder.
hz has been treating me exceptionally well..well, he did ask me to look for sth for him..i did tell him, a few days back i thought our friendship was over, and now it is revived bcos of this file that i was looking for for him. he said he really hoped i was joking, cos he really wanted to continue his relationship with me.
i was shocked, stunned, enthralled, stupefied, whatever. i am not sure if i shld be happy or not.
its v diff to get what he is thinking, in fact no one ever gets it. n this is what makes me scared. i don know what he is thinking, n i have no idea what he wants from me. i really have nth to give him..
anyway not goin to think abt this. i'm v tired...
btw he became a christian.
co is sick man...haiz.
anyway, i'm goin to rest today, and start work tmr...sad right. what kind of a holiday is this???
I'M SUPER CONFUSED!!!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
didnt feel like bloggin the past few days, so i didnt..i still do not know if i shld further my studies in canada...the course is very attractive, cos i only have to study for 7 mths before i get to uni, but it will be a strain on my parents...sighh. what should i do???
marcus brought my attention to sth which i realli neglected...i promised him i would change...failed to do so today, but i will still try.
there's two tests tmr...sianz
realised...the more i expect sth to happen, the more it won happen...haiz...its not convenient to say it here...i finally see the disadvantages of blogging.
i'm confused. i don get what i really want. how bad can things get?
to go or not to go, that is the question.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
i feel like bloggin, so here i am.ytd went to the career fair at suntec, n this course at canada caught my attention. its a 7mth course which brings u to uni, n u do not need to take a public exam. that's v attractive. at first i wanted to go, but there's always the money prob, n i'm worried abt my grandmother. should anythin happen (touch wood), i won be around...n of course there's friends, and so many things that are in spore...
i wonder if i shld go.
anyway, i decided not to care abt this for the time being.
there was an exhibition of the world cup trophy ytd at suntec, and i missed it!!! damn.
it's a pity of my life.
today went for newspaper collection, which was okay. no comments abt that.
i jus realised i have messed things up. at least i messed up jor's case with hz...so i decided not to help for both...i think that's what i did larh. but anyway, jor rocks, so does marcus. haha.
there has been much debate abt freedom of speech, n esp in china, where the govt limits its ppl excess to the internet, n makes regular checks to prevent them from making comments on sensitive topics.
what i seriously think is, they cannot be stopping its ppl from doing this forever.
so, what exactly is the freedom of speech?
Well Well...
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
things are still fine...just that, i dont know how to deal with hz, and i don intend to rack my brains bcos of it...i don really feel like saying anyth, no reasons.