i'm not sure anymore.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Prelims aren't over; I am supposed to be mugging econs right now.
To hell with that for a moment. There's something which is bothering me now...and here is my only place to say it.
I guess like everyone, I am fully aware of how mundane studying, or rather preparing for exams, is. Especially when you are in this kind of school...
I came across some message from someone I know and admire which says that it is a wise decision to leave the school. And I must say it's true. For my kind of weird character I'm not sure if I will be happier elsewhere, but I'm definitely not happy here. I guess it's only fair to say that only my ex-class can make me happy....ah wells.
You see, the reason why I stayed on is no longer a valid one. And it struck me that the decisions that I make, especially major ones, are mostly for others rather than myself. And probably that's the reason why I'm unhappy now. It's time to live my life for myself already.
But what do I actually want?
I always preferred the arts and humanities to the sciences, but I guess I fare better in the latter. And I guess it's for practical reasons that I'm in science stream now. At this point, there are so many things I want to do. Study in a liberal arts college in US, or hotel management somewhere.
I really wonder if I will achieve these...
And yes, he will be leaving in less than a week's time. For a much longer period this time round. The thought of having to be very much alone again puts me off. The feeling of...wanting but being not able to find someone to talk to truthfully really sucks.
That's exactly how I am feeling now.
To hell with that for a moment. There's something which is bothering me now...and here is my only place to say it.
I guess like everyone, I am fully aware of how mundane studying, or rather preparing for exams, is. Especially when you are in this kind of school...
I came across some message from someone I know and admire which says that it is a wise decision to leave the school. And I must say it's true. For my kind of weird character I'm not sure if I will be happier elsewhere, but I'm definitely not happy here. I guess it's only fair to say that only my ex-class can make me happy....ah wells.
You see, the reason why I stayed on is no longer a valid one. And it struck me that the decisions that I make, especially major ones, are mostly for others rather than myself. And probably that's the reason why I'm unhappy now. It's time to live my life for myself already.
But what do I actually want?
I always preferred the arts and humanities to the sciences, but I guess I fare better in the latter. And I guess it's for practical reasons that I'm in science stream now. At this point, there are so many things I want to do. Study in a liberal arts college in US, or hotel management somewhere.
I really wonder if I will achieve these...
And yes, he will be leaving in less than a week's time. For a much longer period this time round. The thought of having to be very much alone again puts me off. The feeling of...wanting but being not able to find someone to talk to truthfully really sucks.
That's exactly how I am feeling now.