night of beautiful stars.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
on the night of my live range, i saw a sky of dazzling stars. it was magnificent. i spent the 10minutes of waiting time just looking at the stars, and pondering how beautiful the world could actually be.
you see, such a sight was something i never expected to see in Singapore. It probably gave me hope. or lightened up my life.
you see, such a sight was something i never expected to see in Singapore. It probably gave me hope. or lightened up my life.
i have been thinking alot lately. about religion, family, friends, and my goals in life. with everything that has happened, i find myself closer to family and religion, and probably friends too. it feels better to have a clearer idea of what you are as a person now.
as for goals in life...army is not a place i want to be. not that i will go awol or something; the 2 years still have to be served. but at least now i know how i want to spend this 2 years, and i hope everything will fall into place...
tonight is book in. it's less than 3 weeks to pop...and i hope everything will turn out fine...
tonight is book in. it's less than 3 weeks to pop...and i hope everything will turn out fine...
book out 3.
Monday, February 16, 2009
i'm typing with my eyes hardly open...just wanna get something off my chest, so here i am.
every time i book out, i spend time only with my family. not saying it's a bad thing, but i realised i'm super cut off from the outside world. and that kind of feeling...isn't something you want to look forward to.
also, my ankle's pretty screwed. not a bone problem, but i can't walk properly. it will recover, but it will recur. i'm not sure if i should down pes, or just leave it alone and chiong command school. i was frank to the assessor during SITest; i told him that if i'm not fighting fit, then i'm not fit to lead. that's my principle la, but now i'm really confused.
after SITest and the talks given by my commanders (who are really great people), my views of BMT and army has changed. Yes, army is a screwed up place...but you just have to be professional. I suppose what I've learnt in the past is reinforced...but it is exactly because of that that i'm even more confused.
and i need to widen my social circle.
every time i book out, i spend time only with my family. not saying it's a bad thing, but i realised i'm super cut off from the outside world. and that kind of feeling...isn't something you want to look forward to.
also, my ankle's pretty screwed. not a bone problem, but i can't walk properly. it will recover, but it will recur. i'm not sure if i should down pes, or just leave it alone and chiong command school. i was frank to the assessor during SITest; i told him that if i'm not fighting fit, then i'm not fit to lead. that's my principle la, but now i'm really confused.
after SITest and the talks given by my commanders (who are really great people), my views of BMT and army has changed. Yes, army is a screwed up place...but you just have to be professional. I suppose what I've learnt in the past is reinforced...but it is exactly because of that that i'm even more confused.
and i need to widen my social circle.
and i want to travel.
book out 2
Sunday, February 08, 2009
book out 2 was on friday, only had time to blog now because i'm busy and....sick.
had field camp the previous week. wasn't that bad (minus the tekan-ing part)...and managed to finish all the tasks even though i was ill since day 3. i suppose those ppl are right to say that field camp is where everyone show their true colours. i shan't be too specific here, but there are people who are beginning to make me feel uncomfortable and stuff.
had field camp the previous week. wasn't that bad (minus the tekan-ing part)...and managed to finish all the tasks even though i was ill since day 3. i suppose those ppl are right to say that field camp is where everyone show their true colours. i shan't be too specific here, but there are people who are beginning to make me feel uncomfortable and stuff.
in the midst of field camp we received the letters sent by our parents, which touched me to tears. although my dad threw the letter away....i will remember the true love behind the message. love you dad and mum.
i'm beginning to hate ns life. i know it's not for me, but i have to survive this long 1 year 10 months. not sure if i should go sispec, or just be a combat soldier. i'm uncertain of alot of things, and close friends around me are too busy for me. i'm not sure how i'm supposed to feel....i just have to pray everything will turn out well.
i'm booking in tonight, and won't be out will next mon (if i'm lucky). till then, i will contine to be emo, quiet, and reserved...