about looking good.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
have you ever thought that you were not attractive enough?
yes, i have. in fact sometimes i feel inferior, and that's why dressing up is important to me. at least it makes me feel good.
and with that, i have the dream of collecting all sorts of designer brands in my closet. hugo boss, armani, ck...and the list goes on.
these may be dazzling. but they are so dazzling they blind. one may be so engrossed in them that one loses sight of their friends, family, their natural self.
i guess i am partially guilty of that. i've been thinking alot of my materialistic ambitions that i forgot the part of me that wants to help the needy, to contribute to the society in one way or another.
i see why they say it's tough to retain your original self when you have fame, wealth, good appearances. but i'm glad that i'm reminded of this...that your inner-self is as important, if not more. and i will constantly remind myself. for i do not want to live a life of regret.
well, it's back to camp tonight. somehow i just feel that i'm wasting my life away...don't see how cleaning toilets and drains contribute to defending the country. would rather do some CIP or whatever...
sigh. that's the life of an army boy.
yes, i have. in fact sometimes i feel inferior, and that's why dressing up is important to me. at least it makes me feel good.
and with that, i have the dream of collecting all sorts of designer brands in my closet. hugo boss, armani, ck...and the list goes on.
these may be dazzling. but they are so dazzling they blind. one may be so engrossed in them that one loses sight of their friends, family, their natural self.
i guess i am partially guilty of that. i've been thinking alot of my materialistic ambitions that i forgot the part of me that wants to help the needy, to contribute to the society in one way or another.
i see why they say it's tough to retain your original self when you have fame, wealth, good appearances. but i'm glad that i'm reminded of this...that your inner-self is as important, if not more. and i will constantly remind myself. for i do not want to live a life of regret.
well, it's back to camp tonight. somehow i just feel that i'm wasting my life away...don't see how cleaning toilets and drains contribute to defending the country. would rather do some CIP or whatever...
sigh. that's the life of an army boy.
yet another week...
Friday, April 24, 2009
this week was a relatively peaceful one, with the protagonist of all the office politics on medical leave. but the moment he came back, things went wrong again. the irony is he does not think that he's the one messing up everything.
speaking of office politics...i wonder how selfish men can get. i understand that with people there will be conflict, and with conflict there will be politics. but are all these necessary? probably my thinking is naive, but i believe that the world will be a better place if people could compromise a little. is that what education does to people? i wonder...
as usual, other than the old problems that i'm facing, the thing giving me the headache is university applications. its between interest and prestige...and i guess it's best that i stick to my principles, lest i regret.
right now i'm waiting for my new vocation, and hope that things will become better. i admit i'm running away from all my old problems...because that's the best short term measure i can come up with. in due time...i hope all can be settled as i lead a more purposeful life.
and thanks. haha.
speaking of office politics...i wonder how selfish men can get. i understand that with people there will be conflict, and with conflict there will be politics. but are all these necessary? probably my thinking is naive, but i believe that the world will be a better place if people could compromise a little. is that what education does to people? i wonder...
as usual, other than the old problems that i'm facing, the thing giving me the headache is university applications. its between interest and prestige...and i guess it's best that i stick to my principles, lest i regret.
right now i'm waiting for my new vocation, and hope that things will become better. i admit i'm running away from all my old problems...because that's the best short term measure i can come up with. in due time...i hope all can be settled as i lead a more purposeful life.
and thanks. haha.
NS Life
Sunday, April 19, 2009
well, i never hated going to a place so much.
in the past, when the going gets tough, at least there were friends around. there were still reasons to make me go to school, and have fun there. looking back, schooling life (yes, even jc life) really isn't that bad.
the camp that i'm going to now...well, the mono-intakers are fine, really. simple people, easy to get along. but not the jc people. some of those in my temporary platoon, especially. i don't see why they enjoy badmouthing and backstabbing people so much. it makes everyone's stay there unbearable.
i guess it's a fortunate thing that my bunk mates ain't doing anything to it. we don't have many weeks there left; all of us are waiting for our new vocations. I'm worried only because our life in the remaining weeks won't be as good, and that the resurfacing of my old problems may prove too much for me to handle.
so much for ns life. a group of top scorers doing nothing but washing and cleaning everyday.
then again, i learned alot. i guess office politics are inevitable, and it's always the smartest that come up with all this shit. so much for elitism, so much for meritocracy. why can't people just learn to work with each other, and benefit from it? i guess i'm just too naive.
back to university admissions.
ntu has accepted me, i went for nus law interview and am going for the biz scholarship one. still haven't heard from smu after the interview. guess i'm going to call to check on the verification of results, since some people already got accepted. and i don't see why i can't. maybe double degree takes longer? i don't know.
i'm anxious, and rightfully so. i really want to get into SMU, but i'm not sure if i should do law. well, i may not get accepted...everything is in a fluster. and i hope things will be right eventually.
it's a few hours to book in, really have no idea how to survive there. hope no major conflicts occur.
in the past, when the going gets tough, at least there were friends around. there were still reasons to make me go to school, and have fun there. looking back, schooling life (yes, even jc life) really isn't that bad.
the camp that i'm going to now...well, the mono-intakers are fine, really. simple people, easy to get along. but not the jc people. some of those in my temporary platoon, especially. i don't see why they enjoy badmouthing and backstabbing people so much. it makes everyone's stay there unbearable.
i guess it's a fortunate thing that my bunk mates ain't doing anything to it. we don't have many weeks there left; all of us are waiting for our new vocations. I'm worried only because our life in the remaining weeks won't be as good, and that the resurfacing of my old problems may prove too much for me to handle.
so much for ns life. a group of top scorers doing nothing but washing and cleaning everyday.
then again, i learned alot. i guess office politics are inevitable, and it's always the smartest that come up with all this shit. so much for elitism, so much for meritocracy. why can't people just learn to work with each other, and benefit from it? i guess i'm just too naive.
back to university admissions.
ntu has accepted me, i went for nus law interview and am going for the biz scholarship one. still haven't heard from smu after the interview. guess i'm going to call to check on the verification of results, since some people already got accepted. and i don't see why i can't. maybe double degree takes longer? i don't know.
i'm anxious, and rightfully so. i really want to get into SMU, but i'm not sure if i should do law. well, i may not get accepted...everything is in a fluster. and i hope things will be right eventually.
it's a few hours to book in, really have no idea how to survive there. hope no major conflicts occur.
fact or fiction
Sunday, April 12, 2009
at this point in my life, i'm hoping that certain things are true. that there are no lies behind this seemingly beautiful picture. that it is not based on gratitude alone, but friendship.
if the above holds, then nothing else needs to be said.
yes, at the end of the day, the trust still holds.
all the best.
if the above holds, then nothing else needs to be said.
yes, at the end of the day, the trust still holds.
all the best.
time of my life.
with so much frustration building within me, i think it's good that i go relax abit...and phuture is the place man. i will definitely be there again; i never felt so high for so long.
that was friday. saturday was great too, met up with my bmt section mates for lunch and someone for dinner. realised that my bmt mates ain't that bad...still the best friends around me are mostly from bp. sad thing is everyone is going to enlist within the next few days...and my life will lack that fun factor, maybe other than weekends.
you see, my social circle is small to start with. i'm definitely not those who have too many friends and too little time to spare for all of them. i'm not trying to make my life sound pathetic, that's the way my life is. i suppose i've come to terms with it, and have (i hope) succeeded in being content with what i have...
it will be back to army tomorrow...reluctant as i'm to return to camp, i don't have a choice. guess will spend more time reading and pursuing my interests. my reading list is sure long, but first there's a law interview to clear.
till next week then.
that was friday. saturday was great too, met up with my bmt section mates for lunch and someone for dinner. realised that my bmt mates ain't that bad...still the best friends around me are mostly from bp. sad thing is everyone is going to enlist within the next few days...and my life will lack that fun factor, maybe other than weekends.
you see, my social circle is small to start with. i'm definitely not those who have too many friends and too little time to spare for all of them. i'm not trying to make my life sound pathetic, that's the way my life is. i suppose i've come to terms with it, and have (i hope) succeeded in being content with what i have...
it will be back to army tomorrow...reluctant as i'm to return to camp, i don't have a choice. guess will spend more time reading and pursuing my interests. my reading list is sure long, but first there's a law interview to clear.
till next week then.
so much for western medicine.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
in case you are wondering, i'm on attn C for my ankle AND for feeling unwell.
after the ankle injury that I incurred during BMT, I've lost faith in NS, in the doctors Singapore, and in western medicine.
It all started off with an ankle sprain. For those of you who had a sprain before, you will know that adequate rest is all it takes for the ankle to recover. But being in BMT and a 'garang' soldier, I went for the route marches and fast marches, which resulted in a partial ligament tear and a slight bone protrusion. Initially, it was just pain after walking or standing for about 10 minutes. Now, i feel pain even when lying on the bed...
I wanted to keep this to myself and a few close friends, but eventually decided to blog about it to vent out my frustration. I've been to a specialist in Jurong Medical Centre, and must say that I'm utterly disappointed.
The first specialist I'm sent to was fine, but not the second or third one. The second one had the mentality that I'm chao-keng, and only sent me on a MRI scan upon my request. When he saw the report, he went entirely silent. Subsequently, I ask if he could recommend down-pes for me, he said yes but he did not indicate it in his memo to the SAF MO. The third one was worse. Not only did he offer differing view from the second, he insisted that taking painkillers was the only way to stop the pain and recovery will come naturally.
after the ankle injury that I incurred during BMT, I've lost faith in NS, in the doctors Singapore, and in western medicine.
It all started off with an ankle sprain. For those of you who had a sprain before, you will know that adequate rest is all it takes for the ankle to recover. But being in BMT and a 'garang' soldier, I went for the route marches and fast marches, which resulted in a partial ligament tear and a slight bone protrusion. Initially, it was just pain after walking or standing for about 10 minutes. Now, i feel pain even when lying on the bed...
I wanted to keep this to myself and a few close friends, but eventually decided to blog about it to vent out my frustration. I've been to a specialist in Jurong Medical Centre, and must say that I'm utterly disappointed.
The first specialist I'm sent to was fine, but not the second or third one. The second one had the mentality that I'm chao-keng, and only sent me on a MRI scan upon my request. When he saw the report, he went entirely silent. Subsequently, I ask if he could recommend down-pes for me, he said yes but he did not indicate it in his memo to the SAF MO. The third one was worse. Not only did he offer differing view from the second, he insisted that taking painkillers was the only way to stop the pain and recovery will come naturally.
I shall not comment on the SAF part in case I get into trouble...and I will explain why I'm pissed.
Firstly, are doctors supposed to have such mentality that patients are there to chao-geng? While I don't deny that there are people who do that, why should doctors allow the minority to form their impression of the majority? To me, a doctor's job is to help their patients recover at the fastest rate possible using the best method available. The doctors that I've met thus far seem to only use the superficial methods and do not care sufficiently for their patients. We know how bloody difficult it is to get into NUS Medicine, and yet we have unprofessional doctors clogging up the system. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Secondly, in my case, what I need is rest and physiotherapy (I've got them, but sessions are so far apart). Yet, I'm stuck in my down-pes-ing process and I do all kinds of shit in army. Is that what western medicine can do for me? And if all else fails, surgery will be the answer. And we know that surgery, no matter how minor, has its after-effects. If rest can aid in recovery, why go for painkillers (which are drugs and lead to addiction) and surgery?
I will consider if I want to talk about the third point here.
So, the kind of frustration is overwhelming. I guess I'm just a victim of this system, and I have no choice but to live with it. Life is never fair, isn't it?
Firstly, are doctors supposed to have such mentality that patients are there to chao-geng? While I don't deny that there are people who do that, why should doctors allow the minority to form their impression of the majority? To me, a doctor's job is to help their patients recover at the fastest rate possible using the best method available. The doctors that I've met thus far seem to only use the superficial methods and do not care sufficiently for their patients. We know how bloody difficult it is to get into NUS Medicine, and yet we have unprofessional doctors clogging up the system. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Secondly, in my case, what I need is rest and physiotherapy (I've got them, but sessions are so far apart). Yet, I'm stuck in my down-pes-ing process and I do all kinds of shit in army. Is that what western medicine can do for me? And if all else fails, surgery will be the answer. And we know that surgery, no matter how minor, has its after-effects. If rest can aid in recovery, why go for painkillers (which are drugs and lead to addiction) and surgery?
I will consider if I want to talk about the third point here.
So, the kind of frustration is overwhelming. I guess I'm just a victim of this system, and I have no choice but to live with it. Life is never fair, isn't it?
2 weeks into new unit.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
well, didn't post last week bcos i was busy with uni admissions stuff. till now, i'm still abit confused...hopefully everything will fall in place. But what I know is, I like SMU's programme, and hope that I can get a place there. Would be best if I get a double degree. Muahaha.
it's been 2 weeks into my new unit, and time passes really slowly there. i really hope i get my down pes form soon, and get the hell out of that place. Seriously, my ankle injury is getting from bad to worse...So much for efficiency in the SAF.
Oh wells. Good thing next week is only a 4 day work week, I can't wait for my next book out.
it's been 2 weeks into my new unit, and time passes really slowly there. i really hope i get my down pes form soon, and get the hell out of that place. Seriously, my ankle injury is getting from bad to worse...So much for efficiency in the SAF.
Oh wells. Good thing next week is only a 4 day work week, I can't wait for my next book out.