It's been ages since I last wrote something here...even Blogger has changed. And I must say I am surprised that there are people actually read my blog, though I have no idea who.

Anyway, I think I have reached a stage of life that is worth noting down somewhere. I no longer keep a physical diary, so this kind of is like the only place left.

This semester has been a truly fruitful one. So is the Germany BSM.

I juggled between work and studies this semester. It was indeed hectic, but I guess what I picked up was not only better time management skills, but also how to better control my emotions? Okay, perhaps that was not as good. But still, I guess I found what I like to do.

Having said that, I still think I won't step into teaching first. There are many other options I want to explore, and I think university life is the best way to do it. At this point, I hope I am able to bring my current students to the end of the year, and then start to pursue my other interests. The only limitation is that I do not know if I am as passionate about the finance and banking industry as I am in teaching, because I do not know enough to make a judgment. So after ICT and Mechai, I will start reading up more, and decide from there.

Of course, this semester is without its lows. My old problems did resurface, especially during the BSM, like how it did during Neora. But I am really blessed and fortunate to have found 2 very good friends, who are willing to talk through the problems with me, and in so many ways help me rebuilt the faith in friendship, kinship and relationship that I have lost many years back. They are also very supportive of where my passion truly lies. While it is inevitable that we will be pursuing different paths in the future, I hope that this strong team that we have built will remain, at least for the next few years.

Both of them are going to run Project Neora 2. My insecurity has led me to fear being left out initially. I guess this is inevitable, and I have accepted the fact that they will be closer to each other than I will be to them individually. But given the problems I have, I am perfectly fine with it. What is more important, is really to have faith in the bonds that we have built, and trust that they have faith in me. It's an uphill challenge for me, but I really take a leap of faith this time. And hope that it really works out.

On top of these, I have formed very strong relationships with my students. While there are colleagues who are unhappy with this, I think what remains important is that I am aware of what I am doing, and I do it with no harmful intentions in mind. Issues like this, we just have to learn to agree to disagree. People tend to be judgmental, and I can never get everyone to agree with my methods of doing things. While my students have become an integral part of my life, I do hope that whatever I am doing will have an impact on how they will be like as a person in the future.

Herein lies the ugliness of the working world. Perhaps I am immature when it comes to dealing with problems that comes from work, and so I let it affect me a bit too much. It's definitely a learning process for me; no matter what my colleagues may say, so long as I stay true to myself, I should not be overly affected. I am glad I got to learn this early.

Life is simple, it is people who make things complicated. Yet, it is also people who make the world a better place to be. I am fortunate to have known awesome people; my friends, my students, and yes, my family.

Perhaps what I need is a little more optimism in my life. And have a little faith, because faith is what makes things work.

So thank you, to the both of you, thank you for making my life a wonderful one once again.  =)